Going through a breakup is one of the most difficult processes in a person’s life. A break is similar to the death of a loved one since, although in the first the person does not die, it is also a loss where the person who is left has to live painful mourning to finally overcome that situation for which nobody would like to go through. But why is it so painful to go through a breakup?
In this Psychology-Online article: how to cope after a breakup, we are going to give you a series of tips so that you can certainly achieve it and also increase your emotional well-being.
Accept the emotional breakup
Pain is relative, each person experiences it differently, with more or less intensity and the main reasons why it is so painful are the following: the breakup was probably not expected to occur, not only the partner is lost but also a friend, a support and a confidant, they already had vital plans and objectives in common, they enjoyed being with that person whom they saw very often or daily, among many other things that make the process of overcoming painful and sometimes it becomes even very complicated.
It is essential that you do not try to resist the pain that the loss of the person you loved has left you. As we saw previously, this is a loss, since even though that person did not pass away, they have probably also left your life forever. Accepting this situation is very difficult and at first, you can experience emotions such as anger, frustration, rage, anger, resentment, among other normal emotions but that are not managed well, over time they can become quite destructive. On the other hand, when we accept the situation and the fact that that person has left our lives, the sadness and deep pain that the loss has left us arrives, with which it is not easy to deal with, especially when we are not there. used. So the best thing to do is let it be, live it, and not try to avoid it. So it is highly recommended to express that pain and gradually remove it. To do this, you should not avoid crying, writing, screaming in pain, etc. which will help to gradually alleviate suffering and eventually overcome it.
How to get over a breakup step by step
After having gone through one of the most difficult stages which is the acceptance of the breakup. To know how to overcome sadness after a separation, you need to carry out the following tips:
Recover your personal goals
Surely during your relationship with that person, they have established a series of objectives as a couple, whether they have made plans to get married, have children, start their own business, buy a house, among many other things. So perhaps you have totally or partially set aside the objectives that you already had individually by focusing only on those they had in common. It is important, so that you can find greater meaning in your life and everything you do, that you regain those goals that at some point you forgot or simply put aside. Remember that in these objectives you will find again enough motivation to carry out your plans, to enjoy the activities that you previously enjoyed, To also feel successful achieving everything you set out to do, and also achieve that life that you wanted so much. The fact that you feel fulfilled as a person will considerably increase your psychological and emotional well-being and will allow you to feel better about yourself and also have a better relationship with others.
Take your time
Don’t pretend to feel good overnight. Remember that you are going through an inevitably painful process and you have to learn to be patient with it. To move forward after a breakup, you should know that it is normal that, at times, you can feel in a better mood and then relapse and feel very sad, so do not feel weird or weaker if this happens to you. since it is not about weakness. Pain, as well as joy, are basic emotions that all people are going to experience throughout our lives, without one the other could not exist and both have their positive side although sometimes it does not seem like that.
So if you can take a few days to rest, vent and regain strength, do it because afterward, you will feel much better, more renewed. The important thing is that you respect your time and give yourself a space for reflection and the necessary recovery to face your own grieving process.
Surround yourself with your loved ones
It is normal that at the beginning, especially the first days, some people prefer to take their time and space alone to reflect and vent. However, you need to know that the worst thing you can do is isolate yourself from others and stay locked up. Remember that you are going through a painful and difficult process in which you are surely experiencing feelings of loneliness and abandonment, so the worst thing you can do is stay really alone. Although it may be difficult at first, you have to seek the support and company of the people who love you the most. Call your friends and tell them about what happened to you, also let your family know.
Agree with them so that they come to visit you or you to them, start planning an outing to distract yourself, the fact is that now more than ever you maintain close contact with everyone. Another thing you can do after a while is to start meeting and interacting with new people, attend workshops, social groups that have the same interests, among other things that help you to expand your social circle more and more.
What to do after a couple of breakup
Don’t let sadness and unhappiness end up affecting you so much that you stop caring about yourself. It is very important that you do not neglect yourself, that you continue to take care of your health either through a balanced diet, physical exercise … as well as it is important that you maintain a good physical appearance in which apart from having you meet your basic needs like grooming, changing clothes or brushing your teeth. You must worry and above all take care of dressing appropriately according to your personal tastes.
Not because you are no longer with that person do you forget to look good and feel good. Self-esteem is not something that has to do with the clothes you wear or how good you look since it is an internal aspect, however, dressing up and looking the way you like will help you a lot to enhance your well-being inside, not because of what others think, but because of yourself.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.