Questions of the heart are complex. When you are in love, you want to share your life with that person. However, you can live the paradox of observing how your ex, that special someone with whom you have shared a period of your history, has remade his life. Yet you still feel love. In such a situation, courage is inherent in the heart since, beyond fear of rejection or doubts, listening to that feeling, instead of silencing it, is a vital choice.
That does not mean that the idea of recovering your ex is always the most successful since, if you observe clear symptoms of indifference on their part, it is important that you respect their attitude and, also, that you avoid unnecessary suffering. But if the doubt and the hope of being reciprocated remain in you, perhaps you consider this option. “How do I get my ex back if he’s with someone else?” If you ask yourself this question in Psychology-Online we reflect on this question.
Cultivate friendship after a relationship
You can maintain a bond of friendship with your ex but you do not go to the point of becoming a confidant of their love story, but in the form of close communication. Still, it is important that you take your time after the breakup to reflect on the mistakes you made and learn from them.
In this way, if you both resume the relationship at some point, you will not start from scratch, it is a good way to keep in touch with your ex. You can reflect on what aspects you do not like about yourself (behaviors, attitudes and gestures) when you remember that moment. From this perspective, you can build your best version.
Don’t criticize your new partner
If you want to win back your ex, then do not play the psychological game of comparing yourself with that person with whom he now shares his life. Also, avoid criticism. Even if you want your ex back, that does not give you the right to make someone feel inferior to others. If you want to make him fall in love, you have to do it by yourself. I mean, don’t measure your light or your charisma in comparison to anyone else.
Perhaps, if you remember what made your partner fall in love with you in the first stage of the relationship, this can help you to connect with that emotional state. If the desire to make him fall in love has something to do with the fear of losing him permanently due to the fact that he is in a relationship, reflect on whether your feelings are deep, regardless of the circumstances. That is, if your partner broke the relationship tomorrow; Would you continue to feel the same and with this level of involvement?
How to win him back if he is with another
Your desire to win him back can make you impatient to want immediate results. However, keep in mind that to redirect the situation, if it is really possible, you need time. Time to show him what your feelings are through your actions. Without a doubt, being constant through the facts requires an effort that transcends the words themselves.
But, in addition, you also need this time to be really sure of what you feel. It is advisable that, despite being clear about your emotional goals, you do not focus all your vital energy on this aspect. It is essential that you continue with your life in terms of friendship, work, family, personal care, and leisure time. In this way, if you cannot finally achieve your wish, you will feel more prepared to assume reality.
Manage the relationship and control the interest in your ex
Let your ex miss you and want to hear from you. If you constantly take the initiative in contact, you leave no room to discover if it is only limited to responding to your interactions or, on the contrary, it also takes the initiative to look for you. Although the telephone contact helps to maintain a communication frequency, it is equally important to specify face-to-face plans.
Love is not a mathematical equation, neither is the process of seduction. Most likely, you will find your answers in time with your own living. For example, it is recommended that you listen to your feelings. There may come a time when you prefer to openly express the truth of your heart, to get a definitive answer.
In that moment, express everything that is important to you. Do not stay with any pending ideas. This action plan is temporary. That is, your purpose is not to be the best friend of your ex, but to win him over. For this reason, if your feelings are not along these lines, then you need to distance yourself to grieve. It will be easier for you to face that moment if you are calm after having said everything you felt and having discovered what the answer is.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.