When you are in a relationship and even when you do not have the relationship as such with the other person, sometimes we can confuse two feelings that, although very similar, are totally opposite, such as love and obsession. Love is a very deep and intense feeling that even changes the chemistry of our brain. For all this, it is easy for a person who is in love to fail to identify to what extent the love he feels is becoming or has already become an obsession.
In this Psychology-Online article: how to know if I have an obsession with a person, we are going to show you some of the signs that what you feel is an obsession and not a crush.
Obsession for a person: symptoms
A person who is in love can do crazy things for the person they love or make decisions that they would never have imagined they could make, such as going to live in another country to be close to him (her), dedicating a large part of their time and/or money to be with that person, to take very long trips to be able to spend one more day with him (her), among many other things.
Next, we are going to show you what are the main symptoms of a person who is experiencing an obsession and not love. In love or psychologically hooked? Pay attention to these series of symptoms because if you feel identified with one or most of them, it is a great indicator that you are obsessed with that person.
ALL the time you are thinking about that person
You spend all your time thinking about that person, to the point that you are beginning to forget yourself, your interests, and even some of your needs. You have found it difficult to focus on your work, school, and just about everything you do.
You often forget important things that you have to do because that person occupies each and every one of your thoughts. Your thoughts towards that person are based mainly on the concern generated by imagining that at some point he (she) may meet another person and stop loving you, in carefully planning the next meeting, thinking that he could be doing right now without you, as he will be feeling with you, you fear that he does not love you as much as you want him, among many other thoughts that only produce tension and stress.
You are aware of everything he does
You live it up to him (her) and spend all your time spying on him (her) by all possible means. So you make use of social networks to realize or at least have clues about where he will be at the moment, who he will be with, what he will be doing, among other things. You are also aware that if you have met new people and if so, you start to investigate who they are, where you have met them, etc. That is, you become a private detective whose only priority is to be informed at all times of every move the other person makes. You even tend to check his mobile, (in case you can have access to it) reading his messages one by one, finding out about all his contacts, reviewing all his photos, etc. In short, you do not stop planning new strategies to keep up to date with that person in detail.
Obsession and insomnia
Sleep is another aspect that is related to falling in love. People in love generally tend to sleep less due to the degree of excitement caused by thinking about the person they love. For example, they can go to bed imagining how and when their next meeting will be, how much fun they have with that person, creating stories related to the following encounters, or imagining what their life would be like together, among other things.
This, to some extent, is normal and typical at this stage when a person is extremely in love, especially at the beginning of the relationship or when they are just getting to know each other. However, we can say that this has begun to become an obsession when, days, weeks, and months go by and you continue without being able to sleep well, worries do not let you sleep and every time you sleep fewer hours, the thoughts that were previously more positive and related to the perfect love story, now have become extremely negative and catastrophic since, at the same time that you imagine your self with the perfect relationship, the frightening fear always appears to think that the other person might abandon you. You spend a long time finding yourself badly physically and emotionally most of the time due to lack of sleep, you have dreams and/or nightmares often with that person, you notice that you feel worse and more exhausted.
Insecurity with oneself
You notice that with the passage of time, probably since you met that person, the confidence that you previously had in yourself has decreased considerably. Before you considered yourself a person with higher self-esteem, more independent, more cheerful, you felt that your happiness did not depend on anything or anyone and now you find that the opposite is happening to you.
Right now you feel that without that person life would not have much meaning for you, you feel good being only by their side, you feel very uneasy when they are apart and you have the constant feeling that at any moment he could leave you. By focusing solely and exclusively on that person, you have begun to put aside everything that you liked to do, you no longer enjoy being with your friends and family as before, you feel more vulnerable and dependent on the other person. It may also be that you no longer dare to start new projects or set yourself new goals since you feel unable to achieve them. In short, being with that person, rather than helping you to be better and better and feel more joyful and confident, you notice that each day that passes you feel worse about yourself and more attached to him (her).
Obsession for a person: your world centers on them
You have realized that you have reached a point where you no longer speak and much less visit your friends and even your family since you dedicate all your free time to spend with that person. You feel that you do not care about anything or anyone else, be it other people or the circumstances you are going through, the most important thing for you is that person. The only thing that worries you is to be okay with him (her) because right now it is the only reason you have to be happy and in case something goes wrong between you, you are sure that your world would fall apart.
It can also be the case that if you were a person who really liked meeting new people and interacting with others, now you are hiding from everyone and that great interest that you had before seems as if it had disappeared from one day to another. All your plans, your vital goals, your day to day are focused on that person and on you, on no one else.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.