I’m feeling bad, I’m not good in myself. An observation that we all make regularly.
Even though it is hard to recognize it there are times when you feel like a weight on your shoulders, discouragement at what you would like to do, sadness for not much, a feeling of guilt when you are not perfectly successful.
Explaining how you feel is difficult. On the one hand, it seems absurd to you, without interest. On the other hand, you feel that it’s not great, that there is something wrong, that you are not at your best … even if you repeat yourself all day long that everything is fine. well,
What do you do when you feel bad, when you tell yourself that you are not well inside?
Maybe like me, you turn to something that could give you a little more comfort, be it just going for a coffee with a friend, or watching a good movie on TV with supporting a few squares of chocolate.
In general, it works quite well.
But, when you find yourself under the comforter, thinking about a good night’s sleep that awaits you, that diffuse uneasiness comes back to you whether you think about it or not. The night is not as good as you would have liked. With each sleep cycle dreams, often totally absurd, follow one another, to the point that you wake up with the feeling of having “knitted” all night.
I’m feeling bad – A message to decode
Hey yes, in what you are feeling, there is a message to be decoded.
Especially if there is no particular reason why you are feeling bad, not good about yourself.
If you have just received a remonstrance from your supervisor for something you did wrong, it is normal to feel in your little shoes … if your partner has not wished you a good day and is gone without a little kiss, too… if you have just broken the beautiful vase offered by your parents for Christmas and which represents a powerful emotion in you, it is also normal…
But, if there is none of that, if this unease creeps in and grows to the point of filling you up, there is a message to be decoded.
Normally, at this point, I would ask you, “ Was there something special that happened when you felt you were wrong? ”
9 X out of 10 the answer is no
This no already brings an element of understanding. When you feel bad you can add: I’m feeling bad, I’m not good in myself,
No need for something special to happen around you, no need for atmospheric depression or electricity in the air, you feel bad inside.
It is therefore in you that it is necessary to look, and not around you.
There’s something about you that’s out of alignment that’s bringing this interference between feeling good and feeling bad. It remains to be seen what it is.
I’m feeling bad – Decode the message
From experience, I have often observed that this feeling of discomfort arose when my thoughts left the present moment to land on a felt frustration, a feeling of guilt, a failure not always conscious, a relational difficulty.
Let me give you a few examples, even if you don’t, you could make some connections …
An oversight – I forgot to tell someone about a date change. I notice it at the right time and send him a message with my apologies.
There is nothing serious in this oversight, it is fixed. But in me, there is a lot going on… in fact, there is above all one thing: I am afraid of being judged by the person I have forgotten.
Procrastination – I have made great strides in this area. I still sometimes leave things aside, just because I tell myself that it can wait, that it is not serious.
I have the feeling that this does not harm my life, that I saw myself more freed from constraints … but here it is, I just came across a paper that talks about a concert that I absolutely wanted to see and it was yesterday!
I can’t help but blame myself. If I was better organized… if I had booked right away… if… if… if…: I judge myself
My expectations – I know that I can let go of certain expectations, that these are part of things that I would like to receive to make up for a lack. But, when they are present, when they are a little stronger in intensity, I forget that I have to let go.
My thoughts are veritable whirlwinds which load in: I want, I would like, I have the right,… The result, I feel horribly frustrated and disappointed because there are no answers to my expectations.
My needs – it’s something other than my expectations. Like everyone else, I have needs: tenderness, calm, rest… and too often I go overboard.
My thoughts are then fueled by what I wish I could experience and what I do not. Anything added amplifies this feeling of not being able to manage my life, of doing anything. I feel assaulted in my environment, so I really feel bad about myself.
My grudges – holding a grudge inside myself, the surest way to feel bad. Of course, I often tell myself that there is no point in being resentful, that it only brings me one more thing, that of cutting off the impetus of life in me.
When I feed a grudge, I also feed my negative thoughts that take the elevator, so no wonder I’m feeling bad, I’m not good in myself bad.
The guilt – ouch ouch ouch… that’s another thing that promotes my illness.
A spoken word that I should have kept to myself, an unfortunate gesture towards others, which I could have done and which I did not do… there are reasons for feeling guilty.
It is by passing and replaying the events in my head, looking for a way to get rid of them that I feed this feeling of being badly inside me.
I would like to be able to feel perfect and I find it hard to recognize myself as imperfect, to have limits, to have weaknesses.
What can you do when you feel bad when you feel like a weight on your shoulders?
It is not always very easy to find. The answer, of course, is action and that is arguably the last thing that comes to your mind.
Taking action is setting the record straight.
These little tips help me in many cases:
Change your thoughts
In the examples that concern me, you have seen the strength that my thoughts can have to keep me in this state of unease. Like me, you can practice changing your thoughts, at least not giving them all the attention you normally give them.
Take a step towards better well-being
A very small step, which could be that of not seeking to compensate but to rectify what has favored the feeling. In other words, find out what can dissolve the discouragement, the sadness, the fed-up that you feel, find out how it is possible for you to make the weight on your shoulders lighter.
If these few exercises don’t help you, why not ask for support, if only to learn to decode the messages sent in your sensitivity and which generate this feeling of feeling bad about yourself.
Take a deep breath
It’s not the end of the world… at least not the end of life. You feel bad, it’s undeniable, but what could be more serious?
Name your unhappiness. No need to shout it from the rooftops, just recognize that, yes, you feel bad, that there is something wrong, that you can find what is wrong and fix it.