Love sometimes has a beginning and an end. The beginning of a story is marked by the hope and emotion of the encounter, however, heartbreak is a disagreement that affects the protagonists in a negative way. What to do when love is over?
At this time when thoughts and emotions can be so intense, in Psychology-Online we give you ideas to take care of yourself at the beginning of this new stage of your life. It is very important to know what to do when love is over. Life goes on and this is the best philosophy you can put into practice to curb the drama.
How to know if love is over
First of all, it is advisable to specify what those usual signs are when love comes to an end. Here are six possible signals:
- You have reached a point of no return. Maybe there was a time when you had hope that you could regain confidence, however, right now you are at a turning point where your gaze is on the future and not on the past. You can’t go back because you don’t want to.
- Personal distance. When love is over, you feel that wall that separates you from the other. A distance that is reflected not only in verbal language but also in one’s own body expression. It is very possible that you even want to avoid plans in the company of your partner because their presence reminds you of the reality of the change that has occurred between you.
- Your inner voice tells you. It is not easy to conclude that love is over. It is not easy to accept this reality with courage. However, when you are alone with yourself, in the privacy of your thoughts, you are aware of reality. Especially because this certainty lasts over time.
- You imagine your future away from that person. When love has already come to an end, this fact manifests itself in the future project itself, since when you imagine the future, you do not observe your partner in your life script but rather the image of your well-being is loneliness. You want to be alone, simply because right now you experience the worst loneliness there is. Sharing life with someone from the present absence.
- Not only is there a lack of communication between you, but you also don’t feel like making the effort to improve interpersonal dialogue. You don’t want to make the commitment to do anything else to feed this story because you are far from feeling the love that you once lived. I mean, you don’t want to feed self-deception.
- Sadness. The end of a heartbreak inevitably leaves a trace of sadness because it is a manifestation of the grief that accompanies emotional loss. Overcoming sadness after separation will not be an easy task, however, it is something necessary to move forward.
What to do when love ends in a couple
In a situation of this type, you can interpret reality from your point of view, but also have empathy with your partner to put yourself in their place. Even if your feelings are different, you deserve to be with someone who loves you unconditionally. Therefore, goodbye is the natural consequence of a vital process of these characteristics.
However, it may happen that you want to be more sure of which is the correct decision. In that case, you can give yourself time and ask your partner for it. Do not start this period as an indeterminate period but it is convenient that you specify an approximate margin of days or weeks to have your final answer.
Whatever the decision you make, it is important that you assume the ethical commitment to live up to what love demands because this is the best way to close a story with an ending that is worthy of that beautiful beginning. Think that you are in the final stretch of your life. How would you like to remember this moment from that perspective?
Couples therapies: can love be recovered?
There are circumstances in which it may be appropriate to fight for one last chance and to know how to save a relationship. For example, when there is still a little hope even though love seems dormant in the relationship. At other times it happens that there are still deep feelings towards the other, for example, affinity and companionship.
It is also convenient to fight for dialogue through couples therapy because when you make your final decision, you will feel calmer if you have done everything possible to save the bond. However, love is a matter of two that implies reciprocity. You both must have the desire and the commitment to try.
You can make the same decision if, in addition to the love you have experienced, you are also united with your partner by the happiness of the children you have in common. However, at the end of this therapy, you will have to make your final decision.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.